many times, i tried to work my time according to my own desire. but somehow, it's always being decided by others. i've tried to ignore & don't care. i guess, i'm just too accomodative sometimes. i should act tough, at least as how i look...many said i look cool, fierce & arrogant. actually, i'm totally opposite. haks.. mystery is unsolving by itself. i'm no longer cool...
i've just woke up from my sleep about 2.5hours ago at 4pm. yea, it's bad but i really needed some sleep. and, i dreamed that i walked into a morgue & got stranded within the dentistry machines! weird ~ time to pick up some dead bodies? time to visit my dentist? ohya, my wisdom tooth! hmm...
i was working throughout the past 3 days without a proper sleep & meal time. last night, i was rushing some work for a client till 7am this morning. i only manage to take my breakfast, lunch & dinner all at once at close to midnight at 11pm. but i needed to, to endure it, cos' i've given my word. so i decided to wait for her to arrive in the office to confirm receiving the mail. their email system is somewhat screwed up. just like 2 days back when i promised to deliver the work first thing on monday morning, which i did. i worked through sunday night, emailed at 6am. knowing that the timeline is not to our advantage and the feedback was required by noon in order to meet the deadline but... until 2.30pm the email was not even arrived yet! so we'd wasted 3/4 of the day waiting for the email. so re-sent and finally the feedback came back in the evening. there goes my nights. cos' i have other 2 urgent deadlines to catch the next day. damn...
imagine, i was so busy that i actually didn't have time to smoke. a blessing in disguised?
and sometimes, i wonder why do people take advantage of other's precious time while not allowing people to share theirs. does their time more precious than ours? is their time running at 45seconds and not 60? these people are pretty selfish & inconsiderate. they will let you into the swirl of hopes and then "missing in action" momentarily. then jump back into your life again when you're about to let go & forget then expect you to give the immediate attention. it's sweet at times, it's bittersweet and i don't like it. i prefer to live in certainty and not in a state of full of "hopes".
while i may not be the best man when comes to time management but i've never missed any of my working deadlines with any of the clients. in fact, i would rather miss my hot dates cos' when it comes to promises made, i'll do every mean to keep it. well, on the other hand, i'm known for being late for any dates. irregardless the girl is hot or not, short or tall, slim or fat. hang on, for the fat ones, i would usually skip the appointment! i've let girls waited for me for more than 4 hours before while i was trying to "finish" my urgent work in the office. and i've never been early in any of my first dates. usually, i would late by 15min. yes, i'm bad. when it comes to attending dates, i think, i'm a woman. other than that, i'm perfectly musculine ;)
i love to squeeze everything i can into my "free" time and make it seems like "on the way" or "by the way" thing. so i "waste" no time. like when i'm driving, i love to be on the phone. when i'm heading to a location, i love to cover some other areas so i could find a better way next time and check out the scenery. i love to have my meal and watch tv or shows at the sametime. i love to check out other shops when i'm in the mall even if i wasn't planning to buy. i love to go thru all the groceries when i'm in a hypermart. i'm on the way, anyway...
most people says i'm too calm when comes to deadlines & problems and they can never notice the anxiety on my face. certainly, i have my own anxiety, i do lose sleeps over matters but i would never show. cos' when you're to lead a team, you must not send the wrong signal down. i love to plan, strategize the situation, forecast the disaster. so when any mischap do happens, i already have the solutions in hand. nothing is a problem, when you've the solutions.
so shouldn't i just lay back and relax a little? ya, ya, provided if i have the time... damn... :)
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