Thursday, January 2, 2020

A letter to myself

Something that I wrote 7 years ago and left in my draft folder.
Here it's.
Good reminder.
Happy New Year 2020.

Dear Edwin,

First of all, idiot! Wake up! Why are you hoping for something that you had already knew it not gonna turn up your way!

You of all people should know it, you said it yourself, your 6th sense is very good & your precognitive sense never fail you. Why do you still choose to believe a lousy lie?

You don't hate liars, you said, but hate lousy liars. There you go.

So wake up.

Secondly, you're a smart guy. With IQ of 146 you can do many things!  Yet you let your pride & emotion get into you. How much does your pride worth? Really?

You gotta learn how to control your emotion. 



Thursday, August 1, 2013

The big leap and curse

A fortune teller once told me when I was 21. I've a "big leap" at 40. And, I might not survive it.

I'm not a fortune teller type of person but I remember this particular one. Cos he said, I will make it big by 30, and I did make it.

So I've been waiting for the "leap" to come. For it, I tend to hold back and try to be a responsible person. I'm afraid to hurt what was & who was to become part of my future.

But he also said, if I made it through, I'll be a prosperous person with abundance of fortune and happiness.

Let's see.... soon, I will need to face it, alone. Live or .......

Only then, I will know if I could continue writing here.



Sunday, July 28, 2013

My secret dreams

It's time to reveal all. No reasons to keep it to myself anymore. My deepest secrets. Since I think nobody actually cares anyway.

First. I've always wanted to achieve something that I venture in. To be an authority figure or simply put, be recognized for my effort or specialty.

So far for my first 2 sectors or first 10 years of my career. I have achieved them all. I've always set my goal for every 5 years. But the 3rd sector hasn't turn out to be as desirable as I wish. I would consider it as my 1st failure in my career. The only consolation is, I did survive the 3rd sector without any serious scratch.

Although, there are many who look me down and deserted me during this period of time too. I don't blame them, after all, not everyone can envision what I see, or share the same level of patience as my perseverance. I did feel dejected at times and feel like giving up. And probably mild depression too.

I started looking for jobs and going to interviews. I got rejected, sometimes got humiliated too. Perhaps, the very first time ever I experience such treatment in job finding in my life. So, everyone has it downturn. This is mine.

But I gotta thanks to those who have stood by me, gave me confidence to continue and helped me to pull through.

One business friend told me this,  in business you can't see results in the first 5 - 7 years.  But at the 10th year, you'll see it. Too long isn't it? Guess, he was trying to tell me perseverance & determination are the only way to success.

Now I'm moving into my 4th sector of my career path. I'm diversifying my career plans as I start to meet more new people. I've expanded my circles of friends to all ages of friends, from those that are almost 20 years younger than me to those older than me by more than 40 years old! From all walks of lives, various types of businesses and expertise, from company owners to retired seniors, from specialist to rising stars. And fortunately, some have become really good friend.

A phenomenon that I could never have envisioned and achieved when I was attached to the renowned international advertising agencies although I held a very senior position.

So, what so secretive about it anyway?  Simple. I'm building my ground. Solidifying my foundation.

No one could see this, but one day I will start make a name again.

This time, it will not be in advertising :)

~ to be continued in part 2 ~



Saturday, November 17, 2012


为什么阳光那么亮?
光都一定要是白?
当我只想自自在
却让我无法挡?

为什么你是那么亮?
把我照的那么白?
在你面前那么白.
却让我无法拆?

我不明白
我不知道
我也不想明白
我喜欢在你面前慌

为什么你是那么亮?
把我照的那么白?
当我只想让你猜
却让我无法赖?

为什么你是那么亮?
光只围绕你的笑?
在你面前我就摆
却让我找不着?

我不明白
我不知道
我也不想明白
我喜欢在你面前傻

为什么阳光那么亮?
光都一定要是白?
当我只想自自在
却让我无法绕?

为什么你是那么亮?
光只围绕你的好?
当只想轻轻拥抱
但你却都不在?

我不明白
我不知道
我也不想明白
我喜欢在你面前浪漫



From above, from below

you and i, here we are
counting the days we've been together
you and i, here we are
living the days we've been dreaming of

life is great, life will be great
you lit my darkness, i'm glad to be the dark
life is fine, life will be fine
you fill my hollows, i'm glad to be empty

you and i, here we are
counting the days, we've left together
you and i, here we are
living the last days we've remaining

life is limitless, we're limited
you complicate me, they complete me
life is limitless, i'm limited
you wet my face, but it burns my skin

you and you, here you are
looking at me, from below
i and i, here i am
smiling at you, from above




two steps

two steps forward, one step back.
sometimes, we move too fast.
sometimes we got to tilt back.
this just could be a better pave.

one step forward, two step back.
sometimes, we're too laid back.
sometimes, we got to go a steep
this place could worth the bet.

two steps forward or one step fore.
sometimes, we got to take a deep.
sometimes, we got to take a leap.
this doesn't require a plead.

two step back and one step back.
sometimes, shall just take a peep.
sometimes, shall just step back.
close our eyes, let it take its place.



Thursday, January 19, 2012

a journey back to cyberspace


it's been awhile, a long time since i updated my blog.

but tonight, i wonder which nerve went to north and tickle my tofu brain. i "revisit" my blog.

i started using this space since 2007, as the breathing space for my overly bloated mind to release my overzealous ideas & tensions and do a little role-playing as a columnist. thinking that no one would ever read my post so i could write whatever i wish, rant whatever things that pissed my off. but my posts are getting lesser each year from a height of 56 (2008) dropped to 13 (2009), 3 (2010) and zero in 2011... perhaps, i was really happy and stress-free during this 3 years.

as i'm looking back at all the blogs i've written. i realized one thing, i used to be very idealistic and optimistic about life. i've lots of ideas and philosophy of how men and women, human to human should treat each other. in the inner most of my heart i'm still am but i also realized i'm starting to moving to a path of becoming the person that i told everyone not to be.

i believe it's time to relook, reflect and revive, and start living as the person i always want to be...

not being wealthy for sure. just being a better person ;)

the top 10 posts that ignited my 2012 new year resolutions.

kindness, a weakness?
choose to believe or investigate the truth?
you said, i said
i cried...
28 worst traits of an eligible bachelor...
i'm losing interest in women...
respect is the first criteria...
so... this is how it feels...
a pleasant august...surprisingly
apology needs to have substance



honesty could be the most disastrous decision?



when you've given your 100% trust to a person, open up fully and share your darkest history & secrets...

it's the scariest thing...

you can only pray & hope that this person will never use it against you and attack you when you're at your most vulnerable state...

p/s: and of cause, we always make this most disastrous decision when we're 'high'. :)



Tuesday, August 10, 2010

blind

i can't see what's beyond me cos i'm blind
i just can't read beyond my own blinds
today is the day that i try to push the blinds
yet i still can't read what is in my mind

can someone tell me what do i need to bind?
i've tried every thread that i could find
everyday i'm walking on a land mine
yet i've lost everything that was to be mine

why? every time when i thought i have it, i flunk?
i've given everything i could yet i'm just a junk
i try to give a smile but all i get are fangs
yet i'm still trying to fit within the rung

i'm blinded by my own desire & passion
can't you see it? or you refuse to comprehend?
i want to give all, and i've given
yet i should do more so i could win?

i've tried so hard, somehow i'm still a dung
i'm swirling within my glass of wine
cos the more i try, the more you whine
was it you, or me? or we both are just blind



Saturday, August 7, 2010

animals are man's best friends, a tribute to Kaizer

recently my good friend's dog just passed away due to accident. it's very sad indeed. Kaizer was also the father of my girl, Hera and my sister's dog, Butter.

Kaizer was a great dog, huge rottweiler, looked monstrous but gentle at heart. the boy will be greatly missed.




- Kaizer -



- Hera -


- Butter -

a tribute to all the lovely animals in the world:


~ Christian The Lion ~


~ "Hachi: A Dog's Tale" - a must watch movie ~