i like it and i hate it...

strangely, you're the first thing that appears before my eyes each day...
i like the feeling...and i hate the emptiness at the same time...

i like it, cos i have a meaning for the day...
i hate it, cos my day is merely a normal day...

i like it, cos i could feel your dance...
i hate it, cos i dislike the distance...

i like it, cos i have hope of beauty...
i hate it, cos im living in uncertainty...

i like it, cos you spark the day of fascination...
i hate it, cos the sparks were my own imagination...

i like it, cos you put smile against my wrinkles...
i hate it, cos the smile only last like twinkles...

i like it, cos i know you're reachable with jus a call...
i hate it, cos i can't sense you physically...

i like it, cos i get to feel nervous again...
i hate it, cos im more afraid of losing it again...

such a battle of self realization & fixation
i've decided not to choose sides
i will love what i like...
and, will love what i hate...

and strangely, you've become the last thing in my mind before i end my day...

Tweet

corruption is a piece of shit...

how do we define corruption?
how do we define bribery?

i define corruption as a tree that's rotten from within. no matter how much water you showered it will rot. no matter how much touch-up you made, it's still rotten....it's just a matter of time before it corrupt and fall to the ground.

i define bribery as a reflection of inferior complex. an excuse to give benefit to someone who does not deserve in order to cover our own deficiency. it is an mental desease of allowing ourselves to believe that we're merely "helping" people who in "need". a true denial of our own strengths & talents.

i call it a token when it doesn't affect me and others.
i call it an act of taking advantage of the poor when it affects our basic needs.
these are the foundation of greed.
it's truly disgusting.
 
how do we curb this desease?
...................................... the only way is when we start to believe in our own strengths & start acknowledging others' talents. but it's a far fetch dream...

i hate corruption.
i hate bribery.
but i'm a culprit of my own detest act sometimes.

i do have a choice but i choose to deny my right sometimes.
the excuse is simple.
i need to survive.
i need to feed others who need me.
it could be just an excuse to console myself.
but i sincerely hope, i can stop this, the moment the sunrise tomorrow.

Tweet

my life is a suitcase...

i'm packed, pressed & trapped in within.

i'm on the run, on the go, on top of every surface.

i'm being carried, transfered & placed randomly.

i'm coloured, labelled, stitched up without my consent.

i'm being stuffed, pushed & cramped up in convenience.

those are not the feelings i enjoy.

those are not the journey i wish.

those are not the destinations i desire.

those are not the looks i want.

those are not the info i need.

i'm compressed, compact & decomposed...

Tweet

eccentrically exhausted 18 sticks in 6 hours...

yes, im truly exhausted...exhausted to the bones, but i feel alright. 2hrs of sleep in 48hrs has no effect on me...i wonder...

is the excitement of a new working partner or is it that swamps of work downpour onto me? maybe is the feeling of having hope for the future again, having the destination to run to again....a purpose for life....or is it because i have found new 4-letter word? i wonder....

it doesn't matter what is it...but what matters is...im happy in whatever corners i could squeeze in...i'm still having reservation in certain degree but i'm happy to be able to worry...well, not really...but is the joy of feeling youthful again...the energy just keep flowing in...or the joy of able to be purposeful? i wonder...

a friend asked, when was the last time you blog?....but im running out of inspiration sometimes...does inspiration really matter? but i think is the spur of moment matters the most...im exhausted...sleepless, excited and a little insane...i will write anything...something that might not even make sense to me or anyone...something that i will laugh about few months down the road....of how eccentric i'm at this moment...will i laugh so hard when i read this post?...i wonder...

but it doesn't matter...this is just a record of the moment of feeling all-directional...seriously..i don't know what am i writing but i will laugh when i read this back when i'm sober :)

Tweet

28 worst traits of an eligible bachelor...

Sometimes it’s nothing wrong to be the more popular person among your peers but being the ‘best’ could bring the worst interpretation you could ever imagine from an unlikely audience or someone you desire.

1. He’s good looking; he is a flirt.
2. He’s compassionate; he’s an unlikely leader.
3. He’s ambitious; he’s not practical.
4. He’s gentle; he’s not manly.
5. He’s smart; he’s hard to understand.
6. He’s considerate; he thinks too much.
7. He’s a visionary; he’s too complicated.
8. He’s sensitive; he’s over emotional.
9. He’s reputation conscious; he’s over image conscious.
10. He’s confident; he’s arrogant.
11. He’s decisive; he’s heartless.
12. He’s funny; he’s too playful.
13. He’s individualistic; he’s selfish.
14. He’s matured; he’s boring.
15. He’s neat; he’s fussy.
16. He’s stylish; he’s not dependable.
17. He’s charming; he’s not trustworthy.
18. He’s humorous; he’s never serious.
19. He’s determined; he’s inflexible.
20. He’s independent; he’s an outcast.
21. He’s popular; he’s untamable.
22. He’s flexible; he’s weak.
23. He’s straightforward; he's rude.
24. He's a sweet-talker; he's a flirt.
25. He’s cultured; he’s boring.
26. He's flamboyant; he's a womanizer.
27. He's shy; he's a coward.
28. He has principle; he’s too stubborn.

Sometimes the right audience do make a lot of difference ;)

Tweet