combo meal: french fries + chicken rice

i heard there is a viral fever going on in the city currently. some of my clients are ill too, on-off fever. well, i'm still having some residue aches from the backache yesterday. today, i have this fever-like joint pain & fingers coldness, well, whatever...i'll be ok.

i wonder why do i get a bit chatty these days, perhaps, i'm just lonely..haks! well, i supposed so, even when i called for SOS, i didn't get help even from my closest pal. i was weak, had no strength & feeling nauseous to get food on my own, called my best pal to pick me up for dinner, saying that i would take a nap first while he could finish up whatever he's doing. cos' i was told "don't worry pal, we live so close. since you live alone, i'll be there when you need me." so i took his word for it, well, i'm very naive sometimes. when i choose to believe someone, i believe 150%.... but he wants to be a good son and have dinner with his mom, so he chose to let his best pal die in hunger with fever....!

ok, yes, i admit i was behaving a little 'too' vulnerable, you know fishing for sympathy when you're ill. that's our luxury when we're sick, isn't it?? but damn! it didn't work a bit at all! men just never take bait from another man, shit. too bad i have no boobs and too bad he's not gay either! the next thing you'll see, will be me lying on the bed with sunken in face still waiting for the food. the world is rather unfair isn't it?

then my the other best pal, who i only manage to meet 3 times in the last 9 months while he only lives less than 15km from me. forever not free. i'm kind of given up on calling him. calling him for life emergency will be totally wasting my final moment of my life. i think by hoping "one of the passerby could/might be a hottest chick that i would spend my remaining few minutes with" is a more optimistic thinking/death wish... sometimes, i wonder, why guys' BFF can't be like girls' BFF? ooo..am i too women now? too sensitive to be a guy now? after all, keeping in touch, and giving & taking one step to/from each other are the key for maintaining any relationship. can't be taking/waiting all the time right? no? anyway, who cares when you do? why care when others don't? i'm just bitchy & sensitive they would say, wait till the circle is reverted then we'll see.

now you know, i'm not that popular as most people think i'm...or i usually make mistake in choosing who i want to be vulnerable with? i'm such an idiot...haha

then i have this craving for french fries again, some weird thing i crave when i'm not too well. just need something out-of-the-ordinary sickman food to satisfy my depreciating ego i guess. after all, savory food makes a sickman happy ;) french fries it is then! and on the way to mc donald's suddenly remember, this awesome chicken rice shop is still open, so what the hell, chicken rice & french fries. sound weird eh? chinese chicken rice with garlic chillies meets salty crispy french fries plus coke. it rhymes anyway, chicken rice meets french fries, sounds like a match! i finished my fries before even i reach home. yummy ~ then sipping the chinese soup then coke with my "gossip girl", kind a like this drama, cute. done 10 episodes today, 8 more to go for tomorrow...

oh..by the way, added this chat box feature here... i was told by some friends that they were shy to leave comments. saying my posts were too intelligent for them to leave comments which would make them look less than average...well, whatever, it sounds like a compliment and a critic at the same time to me.

anyway, leave message there when you can... hmm... my loneliness is really showing... ooh. i'm such a fine specimen of 'attention deprivation syndrome'... ;)

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can someone kill me pls?!

damn....my back hurts like shit! from last night till today.
and it's bothering me the whole freaking day!
i'm fucking frustrated today, freaking bad mood!
almost slam my computer when it moved so damn slow...
oh...man, im so cranky today.

i feel like my waist has dislocated from my spine.
or my spine is not joined with my waist.
basically, i can't feel my back!
i can't stand or sit properly with this back.
this is shit. this is the time that i really need painkiller!
but no, i think i need a sleep, on the floor...

how i wish i'm having fever, at least i know what to do with it, just pop some pills and sleep it through. but i can't sleep either, the moment i hit the bed, within 10min i would jump up and knowingly, there's things in my mind and that i have tons of things to do, to chase.

just like today, i wanted to rest, on & off the bed for like 7-8 times. and my eyes are piercing pain too! but i have deadlines to deliver and i have a meeting to attend at 7pm, and i've just got back from the meeting, it's 10pm now...

i need a shower then chill & rest. but hell no! i still have to walk my son even if my waist is dislocated from my pelvic. damn!

boy, must you shit outside the house?
boy, can you go to shit by yourself in the garden?
daddy is sick and still have to worry about your shit?!?
why must you give me your 'cute face'? gosh, i'm walking you to shit now. ok ok...

can someone just kill me now??

~ my cute fat boy ~

~ private moment ~

~ the face of satisfaction ~

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every time is a first time

the first time when i saw your smile
it's when my strength began to melt
i tried to figure out what's the meaning
then i gave up digging it
when i realized the meaning is nothing
compare to the time we are sharing

the first time i heard you smile to my ear
it's the move i've waited for years
i know i've got my heart a new chain
while i try to break it
then i realized i'm enjoying this train
you're leading me to your sweet terrain

every time i hear you on the other end
it's amazing, the sound freezes me to bend
i know it's not a confusion of soul
i want to conclude it
while i trapped within your magical swirl
truth is i'm mesmerized within this tunnel

and, every time when i don't hear you
it's my mind, unconditionally sway to you
growingly, but i want to deny i'm addicted to you
everyday, i'm trying to convince myself to it
radically, while i try to unbreak myself from you
i then found myself back to when i first saw you

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an investigation to my headache...

i've been having headache lately, the pain stretch from the back of my head, neck to my shoulder. it has gotten so regular that i even have a "schedule" for my headache now. it occurs between 8pm - 10pm on the daily basis or right after my dinner.

i used to have headache problem when i was working for my ex-agency but it was understandable cos' i was a junior back then in the no.1 advertising agency in the country. so naturally, i was to give my best & work extra harder to cover back the "missing years",  so i worked for about 12 -16 hours daily and left the office at 12midnight. my "lucky days" would be leaving office at 9pm. and sometimes up to 2am or don't sleep if needed. so headache stayed with me sometime or whenever i was stressed. i never like to tell people i have migraine, i find migraine is an overstatement and often being abused by most people, so i assume it was just a normal headache caused by stress & lack of sleep.

over the years, panadol/paracetamol has ceased working for me, i only rely on ponstan/mefenamic acid, a type of NSAID pain reliever. nevertheless, i don't take painkiller as often. i rather endure the pain as i believe the more we rely on chemical the less our body can function as the natural suppressor to pain. so unless it's really necessary, i would rather just try to sleep, or relax with tv and chill, and write them down so stop myself from thinking too much. or get a massage, or if i'm lucky..... a great sex is a better painkiller, well, it's scientifically proven in fact.

i did some research and i was surprised that i could probably having a combination of migraine headache & tension headache all these while with several others. there are many types of headaches and the some of the more popular ones are:

1. tension headache - the most common type of headache that caused by stress, sleep deprivation, eyestrain, irregular meal time, sitting posture etc..
2. migraine - a neurological syndrome, that can be from mild form to life threatening and could induce photophobia & phonophobia or hyperacusis, extremely sensitive to sound.
3. idiopathic intracranial hypertensione - often associates with visual problem.
4. cluster headache - occurs periodically. 
5. brain freeze aka ice-cream headache - caused by sudden coldness intake.
6. red wine headache aka histamine headache - it can occur within 15min after consuming and induce nausea & flushing in random areas.
7. rebound headache - occurs when pain medications (analgesics) are taken too frequently to relieve headache.
8. hangover - caused by heavy alcohol consumption.
9. sex headache - rare. it occurs during sexual activity before reaching orgasm. the pain can last for few minutes to few days. thank god, i don't have this problem. yes, i'm very sure ;)

it's also known that food can cause headache. i'm actually surprised that the "list of headache trigger food" is quite long. food such as cheese and liver contain tyramine can cause headache. red wine contains both tyramine & histamine, so if you have headache almost immediately after drinking red wine, now you know why. if we are heavy & regular coffee drinker, lack of caffeine intake/caffeine withdrawal after 8 hours, we get headache too. some food with additional addictive can cause headache too, mostly found in asian food. however, as headache is part of the low blood sugar symptoms, a glass of orange juice or ribenna may just help. but diabetic sufferers have to be careful with the insulin intake.

so, it's quite certain that i have tension headache due to my work, facing monitor for long hours, lots of future planning & thinking (perhaps thinking too much of someone?) and irregular meals or eat take-out too much. i could be having migraine headache too, cos' i usually get very sensitive to glare & really hate noise, but soothing voices from someone dear soothes me greatly. so potential nagging wife stay away from me, please.

at least, i'm now certain that why every time after drinking red wine i get headache & flush, guess i'm histamine intolerance. so no more red wine for me, can someone pass me a glass of whisky-coke please? ;)

also read, international headache society & the national headache foundation

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diarrhea sunday, weak monday, fever tuesday, headache wednesday...

...sunday, diarrhea 5 times! could be gastric recurring...i used to have ibs (irritable bowel syndrome), a stomach problem that due to stress, i'm kind a use to it...it's like, it must happen every month or 2 months...well, sunday, it came back. or it could be due to my eating pattern, cos' i don't take lunch, only dinner. anyway, i felt great, i felt i've lost one inch from my waist. blessing in disguised?

...monday, feeling feverish, lethargic. it could be due to the crazy weather. it's extremely warm & humid these days. it was 34C! madness! while the predicted air temperature was between 24C - 33C. it actually shot higher than that. very unusual. on saturday morning, i installed 2 units of air conditioner right after i woke up and realized that it was 33C at 11am morning. but my a/c is down! madness! what a luck...and i heard one of the worst el nino is coming this june/july! gosh, i'm melting just by thinking of it. look at the bright side, we sure able to shred some inches...

...tuesday, finally, i'm down with fever, expected. must be the weather! i could already feel it coming few days before. i couldn't afford to rest, few deadlines were packed back to back for tuesday. i just had to pull myself together and complete it. after all, my reputation is at stake. a little headache & temperature won't kill me. well, at least i manage to deliver my deadlines and clients are happy. popped 4 panadols before i went to bed, hoping the next day will be a better day. so, tom-yam was the best dinner you should take when you're having fever, cos' it makes you perspire like a cow!

...wednesday, today, still suffering from the residue effect from fever. i knew it, panadol just simply never work on me. recomposed myself in the morning, and i was surprised the efficiency of my technician that he was already waiting outside my house to fix my another a/c's problem. yes, the other a/c's gas leaked at last night. i was melting in my dreams. that's right, what a luck. but today i had a great meeting with my new client, puma. briefed me a couple of new & exciting projects lined up till the year end. it's gonna be an exciting year. 

i just have this thing, when i'm around with people & things that i'm interested with, i get fired up and forgot all about my pain & sickness. i guess that's the reason why, i refuse to submit to my sickness to eat those "sick-man" food, such as porridge and soupy stuff...i will go for something that makes me happy and appear as an healthy man..haha...weird, i know.

anyway, since i can't get tlc at this hour, let's give panadol the benefit of the doubt, 2 more before i go to sleep...

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i'm in love & enjoying my touch...

i've recently bought myself a pda phone, my first. it's been the longest time since i wanted a pda phone but as usual i can be a little too fussy with the design, color, shape, functionality, size, weight & price factors...but my concerns are solved, finally...

i got myself a 'htc touch', i name it xenoed-touch or xenoed's touch. so if you're on the street and wandering with your bluetooth and notice xenoed-touch, yes, that's me :)

this is actually the first version among the htc touch-series. a full-feature touch screen phone, it's simply known as 'htc touch', and the other 2 are 'touch dual' & 'touch cruise'. the earlier comes with 3g but without wifi and the later with everything plus built-in gps. whilst, 'htc touch' only equipped with wifi. 'touch dual' comes with slide-out qwerky keys and 'touch cruise' is just simply ugly. anyway, i don't really use 3g, it's expensive per usage & you don't need 3g to have MMS. wifi is what i really needed.

i simply love the design, sleek, stylish, clean & very thin not to mention it's covered with rubberised surface. and, it's extremely light for a pda. only 112g. but what really impressive was the 'touchFLO' interface, simply slide the finger up, left, right & down to access to the frequently used features. the favorite people's page is nice where it features all your favorite people's picture, a nice touch. it comes with 4 colours for gsm edition; black, white, wassabi green & burgundy. i wanted wassabi green it was damn classy, i was told it's limited and hard to come by. and my friend said, it was meant for gay, i don't really care, really. but i got the black at the end, cos that's the only color available, damn!

it was designed to counter iphone but i think it still has it's limitation comparing to iphone. anyway, i don't like iphone for the fact that it's just another powerful ipod or an extension of ipod craze, and it's too big for my pocket...well, i just don't fancy common things, and don't fancy common fanaticism. but i like htc touch...and yes, i'm still enjoying 'my touch' after 3 weeks.

but....i'm a little regretted after getting 'touch', cos' htc just launched its new touch-series 3 days ago, it's called 'htc diamond'. it's fucking awesome! i bet this will be a tough contender to iphone, it comes with 'touchFLO 3D' interface... freaking amazing! even iphone was using 2d only. and i bet it will be the real killer. it will officially hit the streets in june 2008, first in europe then asia. it's expected to price between myr2,900 - myr3,300. check out the video...i'm drooling already...i'm so wanna get it...

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breathe in breathe out

breathe in breathe out

breathe in, breathe out
tell me all of your doubts
everybody bleeds this way, just the same
breathe in, breathe out
move on and break down
if everyone goes away, i will stay
we push and pull
and i fall down sometimes
and i'm not letting go
you hold the other line
cause there is a light in your eyes, in your eyes

hold on, hold tight
if i'm out of your sight
and everything keeps moving on, moving on
hold on, hold tight
make it through another night
in everyday there comes a song with the dawn
we push and pull
and i fall down sometimes
and i'm not letting go
you hold the other line
cause there is a light in your eyes, in your eyes
there is a light in your eyes, in your eyes

breathe in and breathe out
breathe in and breathe out
breathe in and breathe out
breathe in and breathe out

look left, look right
to the moon and the night
everything under the stars is in your arms

cause there is a light in your eyes, in your eyes
there is a light in your eyes, in your eyes
there is a light in your eyes, in your eyes

performed by mat kearney
featuring q'orianka kilcher (pocahontas, the new world)

dedicated to someone across the straits...

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i need a maid..!!

gosh... today is definitely one of the most productive days in 2008.

plumber came at 9am, woke me up from my 4 hours of sleep. yes, i slept at 5am knowing that plumber was coming at 9am...but hey, i'm not a plumber i don't have to do the work, so what's the point of supervising? trust the professionals! as i've always believed...

by 11am, i was already like a dead man walking so i hit my bed knowing that there were 2 aliens in my house, mind you they were not as hot as those plumbers in 'desperate housewives', just a cold-face chinese man with his smiley malay assistant. so what's the point of supervising? anyway, 'desperate housewives' fail miserably in trying to portray the coolness in being a slutty housewives..so i couldn't be bother and went to my lalaland...

strangely, they were pretty efficient. by 1pm, they're done. i thought they would need at least 6 hours. the operation was, i would say quite tricky. my inner pipes have been leaking for months and my bill has come to a whooping Rm35 a month! that's 3 times of my normal bill! so the 'professionals' has to operate my rusty iron pipes and replaced it with new synthetic pipes and divert the fluids to a new & higher directions...haha....the operation is actually less obscene as i've describe.... ;) anyway, the improvement was tremendous and now i have cleaner h2o & a stronger thrust....

so...after the 2 pros left, professionals i should spell. i realized i need a major overhaul of the floors, it's full with milky foot prints. god, i need a maid, i exclaimed! then i thought, a short nap wouldn't be too bad.

i awoke with much despair when i realized, the foot prints & dust were still there. my french maid-fairy didn't clean it for me as promised. dragged my feet, armed my red vacuum cleaner, started inhaling the pile of dusts and of cos my boyboy's fur, damn. i was cursing my boyboy for being so cute & fluffy already! minutes later, packed myself with clorox, floor detergent (lavender frangranced, a mandatory), broom and i started sweeping. i hate sweeping...my nose can't handle dust that well, i would sneeze like an elephant! one hand squeezing my nose, one hand maneuvering my broom, and the other hand managing my dustpan. i suddenly turned an expert! with my 2 pale-soft-silky-smooth-skin hands, i managed to do 3 things at once, not bad :) and then came the most grueling part, mopping! i need a fucking maid! a fat one, a strong one, it's ok, i don't sleep with maid. so i don't need a fucking maid, i just need a maid.

now my shoulders are swelled from cleaning the entire 2 storeys. i'm really not cut for house work, seriously. so it's either a wife or a maid! ok, i'll take a fat maid and she does not need to be in french costume!

tonight, i shall rest my suddenly enlarged shoulders on my newly bought akemi bed sheet...280 thread count shall do the trick, it's gonna be a sweet dream...awesome :)

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