august ordeal

this month has been a very challenging month for me...lots of things have happened, mostly are not very good, of course. it may just be another bad month for me. last year, same time, was also a very stressful month for me. it has become a ritual for me, one shit month, and july & august have always been the testing month for me.

whether i can move on or not, this will decide my fate. so far, i've managed to solve & recover from most of the misfortunes that had happened to me. this has become a habit for me. come to think of it, july & august have been bad months for me for many years. and by September & October i will be ok. this pattern has been happening to me for many years.

here are the shits i was going through this month:

• bad discussion with landlord who refuse to refund my deposit on the day i move (31/8/2007)
• tried various sources to get a overseas job but nothing came out
• got into financial trouble which left me only RM50 in my pocket
• got into a serious fight with a close friend
• someone who i interested in decided to return to her ex.
• scheduled to meet a very important person in singapore but was stood up
• got into a minor vehicle accident but i was fine
• fell sick to fever for 4 days
• late payment collection from the clients
• tore my face and tried to borrow money from relatives but none was able to give a hand
• additional redundant work require for a very old project that dragged since last year
• cooking half way and ran out of gas in the middle of the night and forced to throw away the food
• car broke down and left no air condition and power steering, had to drive like driving a truck for few days
• car's tyre punctured while rushing for an important meeting
• refrigerator broke down
• almost died when cleaning the cabinet at the new hse, the cabinet door hit the fan & spun down and cut my neck...
• had lots of minor cuts & bruises while moving the house, guess i'm just not cut to be a labouror...

haha...it's quite funny, somehow i'm not really disturbed by all these. dejected a bit yes, but i was able to treat all these with a very calm & easy heart and i smile when those happened to me. i wonder why. i wonder where did i get the strength. could it be because i've been through the worst? there was once where i had to result to eat bread for months, which i hated bread, and i only able to eat instant noodles (maggi mee) during the good days, and i don't like maggi mee too. and now, i eat bread and i kinda like it.

sometimes i think, the environment & circumstances make us a better & stronger man. i've been through that and sometimes i asked for it.

there was a time when i was such a high flyer in my previous advertising company, i was doing very well, at least for people with my same years of experience, i decided to quit my job all because i was too comfortable , i decided i needed a change, to push my luck a bit further, i quit my comfortable working life without hesitation. i wanna use my bare hands to achieve something. with that decision, it took me almost 1.5 years to recover.

then i did it again, this time was to protect my dignity when i was a GM in one of the veteran film company. all because i didn't want to cahoot with the management to manipulate & ill-treat my staffs. i regard my staffs as the most valuable asset to my company and to my success. i could not agree with the way the top management want me to do those unethical things to them. i decided to quit and start my own business. and yes, i'm suffering since then but i'm happy. i'm in bad financial situation when i used up all my savings and had to let the bank to reclaim my car but i've no regrets. that is when i started to appreciate bread and now i can cook excellent "maggi-mee goreng".

i've always have plan in my life, my career especially. my 1st plan was to become an account director in 5 years time, where most people take 7-8years. then my next aim was to become GM by 30 years old and make at least RM10k per month. so far i've achieved & exceeded them all.

now i'm in my 3rd 5-year plan, it's been 1 year & 10 months now. i've had my downs & ups, and i'm down again. and i know my up is coming, and is slowly taking shape.

during those challenging period, i sincerely thank my close ones, my friends, and everyone who believe in me and gave me a lending hands. without them i can never pull through.

i dont like to hope but this time, i hope, i hope things will go smooth for me. it's about time for me to repay them.

Tweet