白

为什么阳光那么亮?
光都一定要是白?
当我只想自自在
却让我无法挡?

为什么你是那么亮?
把我照的那么白?
在你面前那么白.
却让我无法拆?

我不明白
我不知道
我也不想明白
我喜欢在你面前慌

为什么你是那么亮?
把我照的那么白?
当我只想让你猜
却让我无法赖?

为什么你是那么亮?
光只围绕你的笑?
在你面前我就摆
却让我找不着?

我不明白
我不知道
我也不想明白
我喜欢在你面前傻

为什么阳光那么亮?
光都一定要是白?
当我只想自自在
却让我无法绕?

为什么你是那么亮?
光只围绕你的好?
当只想轻轻拥抱
但你却都不在?

我不明白
我不知道
我也不想明白
我喜欢在你面前浪漫

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From above, from below

you and i, here we are
counting the days we've been together
you and i, here we are
living the days we've been dreaming of

life is great, life will be great
you lit my darkness, i'm glad to be the dark
life is fine, life will be fine
you fill my hollows, i'm glad to be empty

you and i, here we are
counting the days, we've left together
you and i, here we are
living the last days we've remaining

life is limitless, we're limited
you complicate me, they complete me
life is limitless, i'm limited
you wet my face, but it burns my skin

you and you, here you are
looking at me, from below
i and i, here i am
smiling at you, from above

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blind

i can't see what's beyond me cos i'm blind
i just can't read beyond my own blinds
today is the day that i try to push the blinds
yet i still can't read what is in my mind

can someone tell me what do i need to bind?
i've tried every thread that i could find
everyday i'm walking on a land mine
yet i've lost everything that was to be mine

why? every time when i thought i have it, i flunk?
i've given everything i could yet i'm just a junk
i try to give a smile but all i get are fangs
yet i'm still trying to fit within the rung

i'm blinded by my own desire & passion
can't you see it? or you refuse to comprehend?
i want to give all, and i've given
yet i should do more so i could win?

i've tried so hard, somehow i'm still a dung
i'm swirling within my glass of wine
cos the more i try, the more you whine
was it you, or me? or we both are just blind

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it's time to sing...

it's time to sing again for the things that i've adored
it's time to sing again for the things that i've endured
it's time to sing again for the people that i've loved

time will only tell, what i've missed is it really what i've needed
but what i've lost may not return as the way i want it to be
so, should i wait? should i cry? should i hope?

it's time again to sing
it's time again to sing
it's time again to cling
things may not be what it seems

it's time again to sing
it's time again to swing
it's time again to swim
things may not be what it seems

it's time to sing again for the things that i've cried
it's time to sing again for the things that i've cared
it's time to sing again for the people that i've missed

time will only tell, what i've done is it really what i should
but what i've not done could be what i really i needed to do
so, should i care? should i miss? should i continue?

it's time again to sing
it's time again to sing
it's time again to go
things may not be what it seems

it's time again to sing
it's time again to swing
it's time again to return
things may be just what it seems...

~~

my eyes were closed all the time when writing these...
dedicated to those who have painted colour in my life & hope to inspire the lost souls within us in searching for their destiny...

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every time is a first time

the first time when i saw your smile
it's when my strength began to melt
i tried to figure out what's the meaning
then i gave up digging it
when i realized the meaning is nothing
compare to the time we are sharing

the first time i heard you smile to my ear
it's the move i've waited for years
i know i've got my heart a new chain
while i try to break it
then i realized i'm enjoying this train
you're leading me to your sweet terrain

every time i hear you on the other end
it's amazing, the sound freezes me to bend
i know it's not a confusion of soul
i want to conclude it
while i trapped within your magical swirl
truth is i'm mesmerized within this tunnel

and, every time when i don't hear you
it's my mind, unconditionally sway to you
growingly, but i want to deny i'm addicted to you
everyday, i'm trying to convince myself to it
radically, while i try to unbreak myself from you
i then found myself back to when i first saw you

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i walk...

i walk, under tall
i move, little mile
i crawl, below snail
i sway, beneath fly

carry on, i asked
moving on, i cracked
standing here, i smeared
climbing up, i grieved

continue, i walk
just a stain of chalk
the fort, i built
just laughed by folks

championing, i craved
striving, i grieved
deciding, i switched
closing, i matched

continue, my dream
merely a dip of cream
fire, i ignite
merely a soul of desire

i walk, swell tall
i move, wheel miles
i crawl, mill nails
i sway, fly and fly

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rewind

time, goes by
i wish, you're near by
chained, my heart
you're only in my mind

tame, my heart
i wish, you're near by
change, my faith
won't you come to my sight?

come here, be mine
over there, be mine
anywhere, i don't mind
just here, i find
the traces of mine o' mine

time, i'll find
and you, devine
joy, our wine
let's unwind, rewind

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may

come as you may
i promise to be a dismay
it all started in may
i'm sorry for i can't display
this is not the game i would play
cos i just don't have the flair

this is our last affair
this game is just not fair
i've paid you my fare
please do not give me the stare
and don't cause me more despair
cos i'm just weak and frail

stop holding my tail
i can only be this clear
the tattoo is too severe
you have left me with fear
i'm hiding, looking from afar
cos i just don't wish to spar

this has gone too far
why do you let me fall
you have induced my flaw
causing pain is your law
what left is you claw
sorry, i won't suit your flow

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the walls...

i shoot the arrows like i always will
only today i meet the walls
i never hold back my thoughts
but today im trapped within my words

i never save my energy to slash
only now i realize i meet my match
i never stop at any meet
but this minute i concede defeat

i tried to use my energy
only realized i've lost within your sight
i never pause for a moment
but this moment you hold me at zero point

is your voice that capture my voice
is your eyes that put me on my ground
is your words that stop my bluntness
is your walls that prevent me to perform

i will be brave against your smile
but you're too strong for me
i will not let your walk more miles
but you swift like breeze

i will catch you in distance
but you vanish before me
i will go behind the walls
but you build a new one before me

is your scent that lure me closer
is your hands that pull me higher
is your skins that i want to sail
is your soul that i want to follow

i will catch you in distance
before you ascend to heaven
i will melt your walls
and catch you when you fall....

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the laughters behind...

there's a laughter behind my skins
not the normal trace of schemes
it's the masks of my shyness
by the sea breeze, you'll see

there's a sadness in between my brows
not the common ways of cries
it's the way i will cherish
by the moonlight and you'll sense

sometimes life is just a fairy tale
something that i can only tail
nothing seem more real than a frail
nothing seem more distance than this trail

there's a path i needed ahead this maze
not the usual way to pursue
it's the passage of an issuance
by the edge, i'm merely a pretence

there's a life beyond my forest
not the assurance of blaze
it's just a dream i amaze
by the time, i shall be a craze

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i like it and i hate it...

strangely, you're the first thing that appears before my eyes each day...
i like the feeling...and i hate the emptiness at the same time...

i like it, cos i have a meaning for the day...
i hate it, cos my day is merely a normal day...

i like it, cos i could feel your dance...
i hate it, cos i dislike the distance...

i like it, cos i have hope of beauty...
i hate it, cos im living in uncertainty...

i like it, cos you spark the day of fascination...
i hate it, cos the sparks were my own imagination...

i like it, cos you put smile against my wrinkles...
i hate it, cos the smile only last like twinkles...

i like it, cos i know you're reachable with jus a call...
i hate it, cos i can't sense you physically...

i like it, cos i get to feel nervous again...
i hate it, cos im more afraid of losing it again...

such a battle of self realization & fixation
i've decided not to choose sides
i will love what i like...
and, will love what i hate...

and strangely, you've become the last thing in my mind before i end my day...

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my life is a suitcase...

i'm packed, pressed & trapped in within.

i'm on the run, on the go, on top of every surface.

i'm being carried, transfered & placed randomly.

i'm coloured, labelled, stitched up without my consent.

i'm being stuffed, pushed & cramped up in convenience.

those are not the feelings i enjoy.

those are not the journey i wish.

those are not the destinations i desire.

those are not the looks i want.

those are not the info i need.

i'm compressed, compact & decomposed...

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you said, i said

you said you wanted time
i'm giving all my life
you said you needed the truth
i vow with my life

you said you are confused
i'm giving you my trust
you said you are stressed
i'm giving you my bless

you said you are not good for me
i'm giving you my faith
you said i should give up on you
i'm giving you my fame

you said timing is not right
i'm giving you more time
you said go look for better
i'm willing to be tamed

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Kisah kita bagai impian

Banyak bedanya sudah kau tak ada disisi
Harian aku tidak berharum lagi
Hilang maknanya hidup karena sepi
Aku tidak ingin kau pergi
Sesudah kita lalui semua
Aku ingin kau tahu aku masih ada
Aku tetap kangen walau tak dengar suara
Cintaku bisa dikatakan dalam sejuta kata

Semoga kau sehat walau aku tidak ada disana
Aku tidak ingin melihat kau dirasa susah
Aku ingin kau selalu gembira
Aku tidak ingin melihat kau berduka
Aku memang ingin engkau saja
Biar semua orang bilang aku gila
Tidak ada maaf aku terasa
Karena hidupku tercipta untuk kau saja

Walau waktu kita begitu kurang
Aku akan sabar dan bertenang
Walau ada banyak tantangan
Aku masih akan hulurkan tangan
Walau kisah kita bagai impian
Aku tetap menunggu kehadiran
Walau nasib kita dipenuhi dengan selingan
Kitalah yang menentukan takdir kita


"inspired by someone...for someone..."

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story

i'm eating but i'm not hungry
i don't like the reflection of my story
the fish has no salt and i need some chilli
i need it to be more savory
i'm eating because i need to live

i'm lonely but i'm still fiery
i don't like to be on the bed and write my story
the ceiling has no color and i need a fairy
i need to be less sorry
i'm lonely because i need a person

i'm calm but i'm weary
i don't like messages with no story
the screen is empty and i need some guarantee
i need it to be instantly
i'm calm because i need a reason

i'm certain but i'm uneasy
i don't like knocking with no story
the sound is blasting and i need to make enquiry
i need to hear a good detailing
i'm certain because i know what i need

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but...

i'm seeking the truth of my next phrase, it's a painful process but i guess i need to.

i'm eating less these days, not because i don't have money but because i need more time to think.

i'm sleeping less these days, not because i don't need to rest but because i afraid to sleep alone.

i'm smoking more these days, not because i enjoy inhaling but because i need to breathe hard.

i'm laughing more these days, not because i'm happy but because i need to hide my emotion.

i'm socializing more these days, not because i love to entertain but because i need distractions.

i'm on computer more these days, not because i love looking at the screen but because i need something interesting.

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follow

5 days has passed.
we're in a new phase.
closer than you think.
tighter than you think.

like the stars in the sky.
brighter when is apart.
clash when they meet.
this is the lie we're in.

could you walk a bit slower?
bend a little lower?
hear my cello.
hear my sorrow.

another 5 days has passed.
still in the same phase.
my heart still beats.
still holding the pieces in me.

against the wall,
i look above the door.
is the ceiling that i know.
what's beyond the window?

could you walk a bit slower?
bend a little lower?
hear my cello.
hear me roar.

would you walk a bit slower?
bend a little lower?
tend my hollow.
let me follow, closer.

inspired & dedicated to my dear, my best friend, my baby

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breathe

walking under the trees
holding the vase hoping to be free
should i stop to breathe?
should i feel the breeze?

running around in circle
chasing the demon of fiscal
should i stop to breathe?
should i feel the bliss?

i'm running towards you
i'm holding my last youth
i'm running towards you
i'm holding my last peace

wondering where is the face
arching, looking for the trace
should i stop to breathe?
should i feel the tease?

hoping the fairy will be waiting
crunching every bit to be wanting
should i stop to breathe?
should i feel my beats?

i'm running towards you
i'm holding my last sanity
i'm running towards you
i'm feeling the anxiety

should i stop to breathe?
should i stop and break?

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speechless

i want it, i need something.
i've struggled for everything.
i've given the best for anything.
at the end, the distance seems never ending.

is it so hard to get what i want?
how many times do i need to be brunt?
giving the best, working the most.
is still not the answer to be the best?

i need a room, i need a big room,
just by myself, no one else but one.
i need a space, i need an open space.
so i can run around and hit no one.

i'm confined in the room that i've built.
i need a ladder, where leads me to the edge.
and i want to jump from the peak
into the pool of the normality.

i want to be ordinary.
just a plain ordinary person.
being different is too tiring.
why is it so hard to be common?

i have too many dream perhaps.
i have too little time perhaps.
something has got to give.
but i have given more than i ditch.

i'm seriously speechless, not the first time
but this time i'm seriously running out of time

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sailing

i sat in the boat looking at the sky
while my mind sailed to the other side
what was i really thinking, i wonder
but i know my mind is trembled

i thought through the night till the stars fade
while my eyes had never left the end of the curtain
am i cant let go of the shadows of the time
or i just cant stop thinking of reverting the rhyme

laughters are the funniest thing, it made you happy
but now those laughters made me feel a little sorry
yet is the tears that made me move on
and is the broken pieces that keep me standing strong

i'm moving on not cos' i'm strong
i'm leaving behind cos' i wanna take a little stroll
the happiness that we pursued may not be what it seems
the differences that drifted us may just be the better things

i sit in the boat looking at the sky
my mind still sails to the other side
i'm thinking of which is the right path
i know i have to leave the past to dust

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